The List

We all have those things we want to do before we die. The dreams to live, the lives to be fulfilled. Those loose ends made right. There's something we all aspire to do, or be. Some of us try harder than others, but there's nothing wrong with that. To simply try is a wondrous thing. To be able to say to yourself, I WILL, then do it. It's becoming a myth almost, to do what you say you will. In the highest forms of 'promises', we're let down, deceived, hopes shattered. Our governments, the higher powers, give us their word they'll do everything they can for certain things, once we give them the power, it's rare we see the fruition of this. I think this has diluted down into the very fabric of our society, the way things now 'work'. Lies become all we know, all we breathe, all we are.
 You can lie to someone's face, you can lie to a group of people, you can live to pretty much everything. The one that will hurt most, the one that will trip you up and maybe just tread on you a bit also, will be the lie(s) you tell yourself. It's one thing to deny your nature, but to willing, knowingly, shamelessly, deceive yourself. Well it's where the identity becomes blurred and the mind fractured.
 In a chaotic world, in troubling times, in daunting situations, we do what we can to make sense, to make do, to live and thrive. To do lists, bucket lists, even shopping lists. It seems, we all realize now, that our lives, even our species, will be a small speck on the story of time. A mild hiccup in the stretch of the universe. And somehow, someway, it's made us less appreciative. And I'm not sure why. We all know, maybe not fully, but somewhat, that our lives are short and the time we have to play with tiny. Yet we don't all push to do more, to get more done, to do better and good, to have fun and smile. Perhaps it's humanities need for some level of narcissism, that idea, that we are unique and important, perhaps it seems the world is just at a point where everyday we're put down, saddened and overwhelmed. Seems to be one good news story for every 50 bad and horrific ones. Our love of drama and terror besieging our reflection. We deny ourselves beauty, the ability to smile and laugh at yourself, that feeling of joy spreading through your body, tingling your limbs and tickling your fingers and toes.
 I don't think there's any denying that we are becoming bitter, becoming quite sour as a populous. We all apparently have so much anger to put somewhere, to do something with, and some of us are ready to dispel that so easily. It's that what's so frightening, so overwhelmingly shameful and eye opening about humanity. Give someone a gun and watch them fire at someone, give them some water and watch them horde it.
 We all forget, we all are loosing that ideal, the simple notion and thought, that, well, it's not exactly perfect, but it's what we have, it's what we get. As pessimistic as I, myself am. I do believe people can be so much more. However meaningless and purposeless life, and existence is... It can also be so much more. You want meaning? Give yourself one. You want a reason? Make one. You want purpose? Find one. Don't expect to lead a great life if you're not willing to go out there and MAKE it a great life. To simple try, to actually DO something to get closer to it. It's more than most people do.